#INFLUENCERDRIVE: Christel Holst-Sande Cowdrey .
#INFLUENCERDRIVE.
Well, it’s the
series with the biggest hits, so far. Which means, we are picking the biggest
hitters, right? And one cannot really get much higher an achiever than an
all-round polymath: She’s clever, intuitive, insightful, glamorous, ambitious
and fascinating. Queen of Chelsea herself, Christel Holst-Sande Cowdrey.
We were
lucky enough to be able to pick the lady’s brains on a number of life enhancing
topics. Here we go!
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1:
Plug your
latest project(s). What are you up to and when can we see/hear about it etc?
In February 2023, my second book, How
to Fire Your Husband in Easy Steps (A Miraculous Divorce) will be launched. Alongside, will be the book
of steps and an online course.
My first book Imagine A Healthy
You went to international bestseller status, which was so exciting (and
mind boggling), but then, the purpose of writing a book is to inspire and maybe
help another in succeeding where there may be similar challenges.
I am also about to complete and
begin, with full momentum, my first Screenplay for a Feature. I trained in
Feature at The Metropolitan Film School. I had always considered that it
was and is quite a different skill. Sometimes, it is almost better to forsake
too complicated dialogue. When actors truly embody characters, they feel from
another more intense place and lead the dialogue on their own. That’s exciting:
to give a lead but empower not disempower them to be themselves within the
role.
Now, I am seeking funding and
choosing (with professional guidance always) who the team will be, who are they
that cry, are moved and who are they that laugh in the same place, in the
story? If I can touch a heart, cast a light into an abyss, I feel I’m on my
way, that there is purpose.
I write non-fiction and although
every story incorporates a little imagination, ‘faction’ is probably more
honest, after all we see things as we are and not always as they are. I begin
and then the writing seems to flow until I come to a full stop – this can take
hours, weeks, years or until I’m hungry or keeling over, in need of my pillow!
I should add that I am a
(spectacular) professional Voiceover Artist. I am a mezzo soprano and, many
moons ago, switched and sang Jazz professionally. I am certain that the skill
of spending hours in recording studios, has made me an acute listener, super
clear and swift to complete the Voiceover task with aplomb! J
I’m used to cameras and have done
various tv commercials, normally hair adverts. I know that any task we complete
must be for the observer, listener, or audience and (stating the obvious),
rather than being self-centred. One needs to get on with it, nerves are hugely
irritating for the Engineer.
I have found that when things ally
themselves to me, come up alongside, I am to respond, that there will be some
purpose in the association.
In one such case, a solicitor, in
telling me his story, suggested I train as an Accredited Mediator – saying my
non-judgement and acute listening was somewhat rare – so I did!
I am thrilled I did because it has
helped me in every part of my life . All too often it is too simple to judge
– the Native American proverb ‘Never judge another man until you have walked a
mile in his moccasins’, is a wise and constant reminder.
I am deeply drawn to cross-cultural
mediations. We are a melting pot of cultures and not enough understanding is
empathised and heard. I am a Swede and even as a Caucasian, there are
formalities that dovetail, but are also differing in their expression. I’m a
polyglot and love language so I guess that blends in too.
2:
Describe a
typical day in your life. If there is one!
There are birds at my window every
morning as I wake! They are perky and sit in the most ginormous Curly Willow
right by my window or on the ledges, I’m sure, sometimes they are deliberately
noisy. The Willow Tree is apposite,
since I have spent years immersed and still find myself surrounded by cricket.
I bought this house because the courtyard is so lovely – honestly, this huge
tree gives me so much joy!
Then the aroma of coffee machine
wafts its way up early in my house and intoxicated by this delicious balm I
ping to the surface of the morning. It’s naughty, but often I return to my bed
with a beaker, black with honey and do my emails – really one should meditate –
I do try to do that too.
I have always had Springer Spaniels
but lost Lily, my last of three during Lockdown – she was sweetly ancient;
there’s always a change of diary when there’s no dog to walk, demanding a
discipline to get out on foot for the regulated 10,000 steps daily target.
I try to do a few ‘big somethings’
every day; workwise and with my writing and exercising brain & body. Cross
cultural Mediation zoom meetings are fascinating – trying to grasp the laws in
each land. I am also a Fellow of the RSA – a privilege and I love the
exposure and learning from the expansive thinking that is the powerful element
of that Society.
Invariably, at some point each day,
I have a ‘love chat’ with my twin sons; we are all on the ‘Find Friends App’
and so if I’m out and about, they’ll text and ask, am I having fun, who am I
dining with, what’s the low down on the company I’m keeping, how happy am I out
of ten and am I in a safe space?
My questions to them both are similar
– it’s a ‘cross-parenting’ period of satisfaction during each day. Usually,
before we check out, we check in – an upcoming time to plan to have brunch or
supper together, invariably this incorporates a 6-8k walk.
The guys are undoubtedly the
greatest assets in my entire life – were whisked up in a saucer via 1st
attempt IVF at The Lister Hospital, Chelsea - indeed, they are uniquely
miraculous in arriving at all, checking the statistics.
As you may imagine, I am grateful
for every waking moment and genuinely respectful of their choices, voices and those
actions they choose. It has humbled me and created a passion within me for the
parenting process.
One of my goals is to do a TEDX
talk on Parenting; the level of Grace and gratitude needed to replace
self-focus; the distribution of outdated ideas that are infiltrated,
understandably by our parents and their parents in turn need tweaking and we need to be on
high alert.
Finally, I would say that classical
music plays in my head most hours of the day – I am moved deeply by the Cello
and by various composers and their pieces. My Mother was a Coloratura. As a
child, classical music was mostly what we heard. The Blues and Standards
of Ella Fitzgerald, Peggy Lee, Julie London, Louis Armstrong and the many more
were ‘permitted’.
I am a Mezzo Soprano but I suppose I
ventured to Jazz because classical music’s metre, is an oubliette of
discipline, whereas Jazz permits the voice to be followed by the musicians so
there is total freedom of expression, where often ‘less is more’.
My
musical Director John Altman is a jazz inspiration. When I was about to perform
at Mark Nicholas’s Benefit dinner at The Savoy (following Rory Bremner that
great satirist and the fine Sir Tim Rice, for a 45 minute set with a trio);
John asked how I felt. My voice choked the words “my mouth is dry, I’m
trembling”. Looking directly at me, he rolled his eyes and said “it’s not about
you, Christel- it’s about them” pointing at the 500 audience. A definite smack
and harsh but it did wonders! I stopped thinking about me. John added Behind You
in Ella Fitzgerald’s trombonist and Peggy Lee’s Bassist. ‘no one would detect a
thing if you screwed the whole thing up!’ Laughing; he counted me in on ‘4’ and
we flew!
I do enjoy silence too – as much as
a jolly dinner party and I love to cook!
I drink 2 litres of water, kombucha,
coffee each day and try to eat one ‘entrée’ a day, with a glass of wine,
Provence Rosé, a rich Malbec or an oaked Chardonnay - with a few small things either side.
3:
What’s been the toughest challenge you have faced, to
date? How did you endure/survive/grow from it?
There have a been a few –
My divorce, though my mediation
nature kept me calm, which is vital when four lives are shunted out of synch
and the status quo so shifted.
My parents’ deaths was another, most
recently my Mother dying in my arms. I had been the singular carer for much of
the latter parts of their lives, which was my privilege and their loss and my
heartache that followed was another privilege of such a deep love.
The most recent uphill climb….
·
On December 21st
2021, I fell after walking happily in my trainers for 2 miles. I stopped to
allow traffic into a garage entrance and caught my foot between a paving stone
and the root of a tree. Whilst I was airborne, I recall thinking, “how the hell
am I going to land?!” – my elbow took the full force of my body to the ground
and stunned, it took me 10 minutes to regain composure and with the help of two
women, to stand upright. Once led to the café attached to the garage, the
Manageress said four others had fallen there before.
·
I was somewhat
incoherent, but I found my phone and the woman helped by calling one of my
sons, who whisked me to A&E. The Chelsea & Westminster were super-fast,
all prep was taken for near immediate surgery, but my elbow was too swollen and
I was to return 2 days later to meet the surgeon. By then I had caught Covid so
I had to wait until the 15th of January to be operated upon. Three
hours and 3 days later post op, I was sent by home, via NHS ambulance to my
sons’ home.
·
What followed post
exhaustion from the anaesthetic was extraordinary. I had never experienced the
dumbing down of my enthusiasm for life – I just slept; couldn’t watch a movie;
couldn’t read for long; had trouble (being allergic to opioids) regarding pain management
and so it went on.
It took 10 weeks for
me to feel confident to drive again. I felt rudderless and wondered whether
really, on some level, any purpose I may have taken for granted had dissipated
for this lifetime.
I was occasionally anxious, something
I have never thought about nor experienced. The surging adrenalin before a
performance is one thing but the lack lustre level of energy I inhabited, felt
as though I was staring at life from a ladder, deeply rooted in a crevasse – no
further down… in an abyss.
Three months later the surgeon said
there had been “zero healing”. Two dates for operations were met with fear from
me and kindly held in abeyance by the empathetic surgeon. Finally, he told me I
had no choice, that the possibility of never putting my full weight on my right
arm again, was unacceptable.
I decided, since I am not a medic,
certainly not a scientist nor one of the country’s finest upper limb Surgeons,
that I would acquiesce, behave, and lean on trust and his gentle reassurance.
The second operation has been a
success; the surgeon skipped like a child beaming with excitement, that “it
could not have gone better!”- I am forever in gratitude.
The trauma (because
they recorded my response as trauma and the fall ‘severe’) I had experienced,
finally led me from gloom to saying the 10 things I am most grateful for in
life, morning and night and any other time I would remember.
I decided that God was definitely
trying to infiltrate my thoughts, telling me indirectly to focus on my writing,
get myself organised and fit, enjoy the oft enforced hours of solitude, as a
gift.
I have been grounded and will
continue to be grounded, until what will soon amount to have been, a whole
year.
During this time my second book has
been completed; I am signed with an Agent and a Publisher.
I was asked if I would rent a room
to a great friend of my sons; I’m sure I began to sleep better as a result –
simply put, another beating heart can be a comfort.
My book launches in February 2023 with 3 months of marketing starting immediately.; what follows are The Easy Steps accompanying book and an Online Course giving suggestions to succeed, because if I can, then honestly, anyone can! The online course will be ‘The super 7 easy steps to fire your husband!’ .
My screenplay, Be Brave My Sons,
my story (faction) of 3 boys running and trafficked from Kabul and the
relationships between mother and sons, has been reignited; It had been put on
hold during my divorce.
After working with the Government,
who introduced me to all the connections I needed for full authenticity in my
writing, I was inspired to complete the mammoth task to full Feature Film, during
my period of repose.
I believe it will be my best
contribution so far, using most of what I have learned this time ‘round.
This year ignited a myriad of
feelings, from horizontal, fear-filled oblivion to a greater understanding of
the power of our thoughts, that they transmute and become ‘things’ and that our
speech dictates and holds a level of power that is overwhelming and needs
serious consideration.
A few kilos lighter - it feels good
to stride about naked rather than shimmy in the dark! I have a renewed and a
keen love for each day and a greater respect for my ongoing health; for the
tribe that have shown they are mine and my emotional ‘castle’.
This year has also compounded my
love for writing, even though I have written all my life, beginning with music
– thanks for the casting of light into shadow and that power, so sweet as to
shift an hour, a day or a life.
I remain tearful reading this, but
such is adversity that should lead us to humility and greater fortitude.
4:
Contrast
with: happiest time, ever? Or is the best yet to come?!
One of the happiest times was
realising the man I had fallen in love with was to be the father of my children
– sounds strange but I had to tell him – that was scary but brave! I think
woman is given a nudge, given a ‘heads up’ when they’ve met their match?
I should say the second was my
wedding day but to be honest, I was in a stupor, a lovely daze but nonetheless
a stupor – vows booming through me, words committing, voices excelling - all
before The Lord!
The day we were told we had
conceived two little people at once, at the first attempt – seeing their hearts
beating at 7 weeks was incredible – I wasn’t expecting that at all!
And now? Those two little people are
fine, young men. Spin instructors
at Ride Republic! Master Certified Life Coaches and work together in
their company: Safe-Space. And there’s the Kent County Cricketer
connection, too! (EDITOR’S NOTE:
PAGING GOOGLE BOX! GET THIS FAMILY ON YOUR NEXT SERIES, ASAP!!). Back to Christel.
But then there are so many
experiences I am grateful for – My Great Grandmother’s 110th
birthday party in Stockholm, who lived until she was 111 years and 89 days – the greatest longevity of any Nordic woman – maybe
superseded by another now; but no dementia, not a line on her beautiful face
and her long silver blonde hair twisted up into a bun.
5:
How do you
relax? List some favourite books/tunes/films/exercises to help, if possible!
Recently, I have resumed Yoga. I was
a ballet dancer to Grade V1 with the Imperial Society when I was younger and so
Yoga and Pilates were opposite rules and, I found them both slow in comparison.
Now I find yoga seriously challenging and so good for the bod!
I walk and I spin – both my sons are
Spin Instructors as a side hustle, both are athletes; one was a professional
cricketer, third generation (no pressure J) and the other son
scarily fit too.
I read and I love to Voiceover even
if it is a paid professional job – I love it!
Movies are great if the mood grabs
me – but none with violence or disempowerment of others – I get upset - I do
veer toward Documentaries and have written a few Doc concepts – my passion for
non-fiction in evidence, once again.
When I need to chill out, I like to
find Bob Mortimer on Would I lie to you – he is superbly clever and I
laugh out loud, I mean how often do we do that? I watch First Dates in
awe of the contestants and really enjoy Gogglebox and think I’d enjoy would
being on it – I’m sure it would be so fun!
I have appeared with my son Julius
Cowdrey on Made in Chelsea (which he most definitely was) quite often
and really enjoy it. It’s easy for the viewers to forget it’s just a show and
not the Gospel, but still, one forgets!
6: What
tech items can you not do without, and why? And what might be done, by tech
/apps to improve life and work, in general, do you think?
Techs I use:
iPhone (ha!) & my MacBook Pro; Find Friends; Cab App (I don’t touch UBER); Eventbrite;
My Steps & Health App; Suduko; Word Search & Solitaire (use every day
to brain train);QR Bot; Dropbox; Camera; Parking Apps; Bank App; Scanner; Voice
Recorder: Files: Notes: Clock; Calculator; Utilities; Excel & Word:
Maps - I mean I could go on… how did we
cope before these!!
7: Who has
influenced you the most on your journey, so far? And where do you, as an
influencer yourself, see yourself in the next 5-10 years?
My Great Grandfather’s Legacy
mentality. He took on NCR, Nordic/European countries with the American in
Dayton, Ohio, in the beginning of that organisation, which brought his
grandson, my Pa, us all, to England in the early sixties. NCR
paid it forward to one of their employees; who was instrumental in starting
IBM.
We are a clan of some 600+
individuals, spread across the world – he asked all the generations to remain
in touch; to build relationships with one another, which we have done and
continue to do, so thank goodness for Facebook!
He said “Vi stãller
upp för varandra” – “we stand for one another” so, when a relative comes, look
after them; if they land in your place, open the door and bring them in!’
When I see NCR on ATM or cash
machines – I still find I am monetarily filled with regard for his legacy
mentality – the pure element of his character is in my film, driven with a
power of influence in the protagonist.
He is but one….My
Father, who is the sole influencer in my life for men and responsible for my
love of men – in the finer sense. There are many, I am happily still and
hopefully will stay very teachable!
Christel Holst-Sande
Cowdrey
Book Publishers: see Cranthorpe Millner Publishing House
Or: Augmented
World
And this company, right here,
which I have come across in my research.
If you are still reading at this
stage then also check out these two:
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